It’s been so long

Its been so long since I have had the picturesque image to paint in my head of how harsh reality really is. But as long as it is, I am fine and alive to live through my  Destiny.
Its been so long since I have used the fascinating word called ‘Future’,
Often used and frequently misused.
But am glad, with time I got to learn to live in my present.

Its been so long since I have lived those autumn mornings with my Grandma, when I used to relive my childhood again, when all the stories of my mischief seemed so funny.
With her gone, life seems so lifeless.
Granny, you are purest soul anyone ever can be, with the
Wisdom of a so many years, still you seemed so friendly.

Its been so long since we have had our last goof, cracking jokes and forgiving more.
But, alas! We all grew, and distance made us strangers again.
Its been so long since I have had my hair tangled in a mess, the same dirty shoes with that carefree attitude.
If only I had realized that those little dreams I used to see
As a child were enough to light up the night sky,
I wouldn’t have let the world change me.

Its been so long since I have told him how much he means to me.
Whose shoulders I used to sit on and rock the world,
Father, I might have been there only for one half of your life,
But you have always been there for me right from the start.
And I know, no matter what, I’ll always be your little girl.

Its been so long since I felt like going against the wind, creating waves in the ocean, move mountains, do things that only existed in my dreams.
But, today I want to let it be, let the wind swing me at its own
pace and rhythm.
Let me see the world again, with the same eyes, which used to
Imagine more and procrastinate less.

Its been so long since I have experienced the smell of unfamiliarity, lived the life of disparity, a mind full of novel possibilities, while I’ll be standing right there, waiting for you to come.
Airport goodbyes are always so terrible, hard to realise that
A time comes when you’ll be leaving all your loved ones
Forever.

Its been so long since I have fallen in love. The infatuations all through my teens, never really lasted
With time I forgot to love myself. The love that was eternal, inevitable.
So stop!
Put a full stop to the societal dreams and the tinted future
Happiness.
Love yourself. Love whatever you have got.
You are doing enough.

Its been so long since I have realized my own worth, my own capabilities, my liabilities and my priorities.
Its never too late for anything. Everything is allowed.
Don’t let anyone judge you.
Always remember, you are never too old enough to be happy.
The yearning desires in my heart will never cease to exist.
The memories will never to fade, they are here till my last
Breath.

But the cravings of being a child again, will never fade.
I wish I could relive my moments again.

PARVEEN SULTANA

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